When I was growing up, in any traumatic or stressful situation, my family and I would use food to calm and comfort us. From a very young age, I remember we would go to restaurants and eat sundaes and fries.
Over time, Sugar became my reliable friend – a comforter that was always there for me, never arguing, answering or upsetting me. He has become a life companion. I turned to sugar and processed foods to deal with emotions, including happiness.
If I was anxious, I would go to a drive-thru and order milkshakes and ice cream. If I won a prize, I would celebrate it by eating pizza or ice cream. Food has become a refuge for me. I felt safe and calm while eating.
I often ate too much, knowing it was not good for me. I would have a stomach ache, but I always want more.
I realized it was out of my control. I couldn’t settle for just one piece of food like the others. I wanted to be a normal eater, like those who could leave half a cake on their plate, but I had no self-control for that.
There were days when I ate all day. When I was alone, I would go to different places and indulge in as much food as I could.
A typical day consisted of me having a large caramel frappuccino from Starbucks with a pastry and a breakfast sandwich. A few hours later, I was eating fast food for lunch, followed by more ice cream, chips, and candy at home or at convenience stores. I would end the day with a big dinner and lots of desserts.
It was an all-day eating event, especially at the height of my addiction, before I realized I had lost control. My favorite comfort foods were milkshakes and ice cream, followed by Cheetos as my second favorite crispy snack.
Thoughts like “I need to eat more” constantly clashed with thoughts like “I shouldn’t be doing this” and “this isn’t good.” So it became a real problem in my life.
Eating sugar and processed foods has become a lifelong burden for me. It also weighed on my friends because I would isolate myself from them.
I believe the opposite of addiction is connection. I was so addicted to sugar and food, that I isolated myself because I didn’t want anyone to know about my addiction.
My friends probably could have looked at me and seen that I was eating a lot because I was so fat, but in my head I thought, “I have to control this” and “I need help before I can. tell anyone”.
For my friends and family, it wasn’t about weight. They didn’t care about my size. But I pushed people away because I didn’t want to embarrass anyone.
I have an amazing husband who loves me unconditionally, and I have five amazing kids who also love me unconditionally. But I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable because I was very tall.
Being overweight was a problem for me, but more so than the weight, the mental chatter and obsession with food were worse. Mentally, my brain was consumed with thoughts of weight loss and diet.
But I was also obsessed with getting my fix of ice cream or Cheetos followed by exercising and eating a few almonds because that was considered healthy. Every free thought in my brain was filled with an obsession with food.
I knew I was going to eat myself into an early grave. I had this beautiful life, but in the area of food, it was awful and I couldn’t understand.
I also had a lot of anxiety and brain fog, because the reality is that when you’re eating this much, all you want to do is lie on the couch. You don’t want to get up and be active, or do a project and go for a walk.
It was a continuous cycle where I wanted to get out of it, but constantly giving in to my urges.
In 2017, when I was 45, I knew I had to finally quit sugar and processed foods. I was at my most desperate place, I had to do something.
Years before, I had heard of a term called “food limits”, an addiction pattern of eating three set meals a day without snacking, to learn how to have limits with food.
These meals contain no sugar or flour and are measured in portions. The goal was to replace sugar, flour and processed foods with proteins, vegetables, fruits, fats and grains.
The day before this trip, I thought, “I don’t know how to cut out sugar and flour, it seems pretty hard, but what I’m doing isn’t working, and what I’m doing is going to kill me. I love my life and I love my family. I don’t want to do anything prematurely that hurts me.
So I jumped in with enthusiasm. I thought, “This is it. I feel like the Lord really sent my lifeboat, and I had to jump out and paddle.” I started planning my meals, looking at ingredient lists, and writing down my food. I was very, very excited.
During the first week, I felt great because I knew this was the answer, and I had never had an answer before. There was no turning back.
But there was a time in the first 30 days when I was sitting in a restaurant and there were rolls on the table. The roll was made up of the two things I couldn’t have, sugar and flour, which made me think, “Oh my God, I’ll never have that again.”
I shed a few tears, then realized that I had had enough buns, bread, candies and sugar to last several lifetimes. I had eaten my share of it all.
I understood that there was nothing wrong with mourning, crying and letting it out. I had to overcome some of those emotions because they were difficult.
I developed strategies to overcome temptations. I would take deep breaths, stop and pray, and walk away. I would reach out to a friend, and then everything would be fine because the urge would go away.
Even now, I don’t sit and watch the food. I just say, “No, that’s not my food. I’m not going to eat that.”
It is really good.
There are tough times, even five years later, where I think, “Oh, maybe I could be a normal eater.” But I am not. And I owned that. This is how I eat. And it keeps me free and feeling good, and my body is amazing.
I planned my meals the night before, which gave me the mental space I needed to think about other things. I had the freedom to think of creative ideas because I wasn’t constantly preoccupied with how to get more food without others noticing, and how much I was eating.
Ten months into my journey, I’ve lost 100 pounds without doing anything drastic other than following these dietary limits and working on my emotions and anxiety in between.
Now I have three delicious and nutritious meals a day that keep me satisfied until the next meal. There’s usually no hunger in between because my body is fueled by good stuff, so my weight dropped fast because my body finally used everything I gave it.
At breakfast, I usually eat protein, fruit and cereal. It can be oatmeal with bananas and yogurt, or rice cakes with peanut butter and bananas.
At lunch, I ate vegetables, along with protein, fat, and fruit. It could be carrots and celery with hummus, hard boiled egg and blueberries.
Dinner usually consists of some type of meat, such as barbecue steak, chicken or fish, accompanied by a salad and a generous portion of vegetables with butter and dressing.
I drink lots of water, unsweetened tea and sparkling water, which I really appreciate. I always drink coffee, but without sugar, and just a little cream.
I no longer wake up feeling guilty for overeating the night before, and I no longer spend time researching diets or weight loss methods. My body feels better and I’m free to be myself without the weight of food holding me down.
It’s a liberating feeling to finally be able to live my life without the constant preoccupation with food and my weight. I’m free to be me, whatever it is.
My skin is clear and I feel better physically and mentally. I always feel anxious because we live in a fast-paced world with many stressors. But I recognize it, I work it and I breathe it.
I’m able to feel it in my body and be like, “Okay, I’m feeling really anxious right now.”
In the past I used to delete it and it always resurfaces. But now I face it and walk away from it. He is no longer imprisoned and confused inside me. I learned to overcome my moments of anxiety.
Eliminating sugar and processed junk food from my diet has had a significant positive impact on my mental and physical health. It has allowed me to be more attentive to the needs of my body, to overcome moments of anxiety and to appreciate the delicious and nutritious foods available to me.
I encourage others to consider the benefits of healthy eating and the freedom it can bring to their lives.
In the five and a half years since I started this journey, I’ve never thought, “Maybe there’s a better way?”
I know that is the answer. It’s freedom. It’s clear. My brain loves it. My body loves it. What if I don’t eat a piece of cake? It’s not serious. I just have to get over it and have some strategies.
Kristy McCammon is the founder of life without limit. She is a speaker, blogger, influencer and weight loss coach.
All opinions expressed in this article are those of the author.
As told to Newsweek associate editor Carine Harb.
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